* - Mom, someday, I'm going to go to the moon. 
   - I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore. 

* - Whats your problem? 

  - You really want to know what my problem is? 
  - No actually that was a rhetorical question.

* - Is there an Olive here? 

  - There's a whole jar of them in the fridge! 

* - A is for Awesome.

* - A drumroll? So what? that's it? You just said good night, went home and... performed the drum solo? 

* -  Do you believe in love at first sight?
 - Yes.
 - Naive. 

* - Tell me that you love me first because I'm afraid that if I tell you first you'll think that I'm playing the game. 

* -  I had a really nice time last night. 

- Nice? 

- I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night! 
- Thaaaat's better!